


Let Fate Decide

by tomgirl1234567890



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Depression, M/M, One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 20:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8072218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomgirl1234567890/pseuds/tomgirl1234567890
Summary: Marco is goneJean has lost his willHe sits in a rarely used store roomdoor lockedgun in hand bullets in the chamber





	

I sit here in this Hot room back against the wall hands wiping my tear stained face. Tonight is the Bon fire where all the retrieved fallen soilders will be burned. I can still see his corpse so vividly. The image of his lifeless body is burned into my eyes. I'm sure if I hadn't used all my tears last night I'd be crying by now I can't help it he was my friend, my fellow solider, my lover and most importantly the one I loved and now he's gone

I looked to the side and see the hand gun I managed to take from Commander Erwin's office I check the chamber all six bullets were in it I close it again and stared at the ceiling   
" Marco why, Why did you have to leave me? " I don't know how but I managed to start tearing up again  
" You promised you'd never leave me! " I slammed my fist against the wall tears once again streaming down my face   
" Why!? " I pull my knees up to my face and rest my head on them   
" I love you Marco, Please come back to me I promise I'll treat you better " I start to sob   
" I'll never look at Mikasa again please just come back to me " I just want to see him smile. I want to hear his voice. I want to touch his body I just want him I would give anything I mean anything to have him. Even if that meant taking my own life.

I'm sorry Marco I'm sorry I'm so weak that I can't live with out you. I'm not the leader you wanted me to be I'm to weak. I pick up the gun again and look at my reflection in the mirror like metal. My eyes were puffy and red. My nose was running the snot going over the previously dried snot my hair was more of a mess then usual and damp with sweat I look like a wreck which is pretty accurate to how I feel

I used the reflective surface to look into my eyes. The Windows to the soul some say. They say by looking into someone's eyes you can see the kind of life one lived. Different markings can tell you how much one has cried and how much one has smiled. Marco taught my that I smile lightly at the thought. He had such happy eyes not an once of pain but sometimes you could see the fear. I wonder if his eyes were full of fear when he died, His eyes just looked lifeless when I saw them but I guess that's an accurate description. I look into my eyes it's true I could see the pain, sadness and fear in them .  
" I want to die " I whispered to myself. I open the chamber and pulls out one bullet   
" Lets Play a game of fate " I take the bullet and throw it across the room   
" Marco the chances of seeing me again are five to one, If I'm meant to see you again then I'll die. But if I live I promise I'll try my hardest to become the man you wanted me to become " I close the chamber and kiss the gun for good luck hoping I'll see Marco in a few minutes   
" Let Fate Decide "   
I spin the chamber and put the gun In my mouth. I cock the gun and put the finger on the trigger and pull the trigger.

The gun made a clicking sound and I felt no impact. I sigh a bit sadly and take the gun out of my mouth and set it on the floor  
" I guess a promise is a promise, I'll live without you no matter how much It pains me to " I look up at the roof " I'll always love you Marco " I stand up leaving the gun and walk out of the room.  
" It's Time for the bonfire " I say quietly to myself


End file.
